I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
