My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
