So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
