Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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