I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
