Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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