Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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