so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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