atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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