I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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