I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize