Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
