the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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