you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
