Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
