I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
