White coat. Heels.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
