just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
