It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
