my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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