She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
