I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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