I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
only you would photoshop your dick
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
