Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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