So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
