he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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