Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
