I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
