We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
