Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
