So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
