I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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