if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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