Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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