so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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