Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
