she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
