he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
