I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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