It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
