Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I smell stomach acid.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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