What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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