I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
