It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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