Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
