i may or may not be watching the land before time
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
