He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
