I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
