i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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