I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
