i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
