Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
