so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize