how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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