I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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