I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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