Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
A+ Viking dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
