Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
