Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
