drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
