apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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