listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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