The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
did you just send me my own nude
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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