NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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