You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
