I'm really into asian looking animals
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Success! We fucked roommates!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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