It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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