Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
