she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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