I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
