I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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