it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
