i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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